Sunday, December 21, 2008


21st December 2008 (Sunday)

Since young, all i wanted was to be an adult. Because i won't have to study. no exams!!! hooorrraaayy!! no school!!! hoooorrraaaayyyy!!! So, a few years in kindergarden, 6 years in primary, 5 years in middle/high school, 1 and a half years in college, im now in my final stage of education. erm, that's if i don't do masters. Exclude masters for the mean time, im already 2 years into my final stage of education. A part of me hopes that i'll be able to graduate in another 2 years time and another part of me is hoping that i'll be able to remain a student and never step into working life.

Between college and university, i've did some waitressing and promoter jobs. i've got a glimpse of real life and vowed to study hard for a better future. Honestly, i never really had an aim in my life. I grew up not knowing what i want, just..grow up. Have fun, study, and pick up responsibilities along the way. I know life is hard, and it's not easy being an adult as how i'd seen it as a kid.

All the while, the thought that i've still got a few more years before i come out to the society kept me safe in my own thoughts. I should have fun while i can. I should act and be like a kid. I should be rebellious and get scolding from my parents. As much as i want my parents to give me the freedom, deep in side, i want them to still treat me as a kid and give me allowance. heee.. :p

Currently, being an intern, working from 8am-5pm everyday gave me another taste of real life. Talking to colleagues with experience not only in work but in life forced me to think of growing up and being an adult all over again..

Im sure many, including myself would have heard stories about working life. meeting people, the gossip, the stress etc etc etc. im seeing stories coming to life. the real thing. 2 months to walk through my parents life.. to earn a living and support a family.

I did some minor calculations. I have no idea how a person can save part of their monthly pay with all the other responsibilities in hand. from paying off loans to supporting the family. how to save up for a holiday? how to save up to get married? im thinking how my parents saved up that amount of money to be able to feed me till this very moment and soon to send me abroad to further my studies. So easy to just take out the calculator and start punching in the numbers. But what appears after you sum up the numbers? Do you have what the calculator tells you?

how the heck are you gonna save so much? the years spent working. the money earned every month that can barely cover all expenses. how how how? how is it that my parents for example are willing to spend a big amount of what they have earned at one go to support one of their daughters education? when am i gonna earned back that same amount of money and pay them back?

suddenly, i have so many doubts and question. the road ahead is so unpredictable. i have plans and aims. to carry out my plans, the road that i have to walk is not gonna be easy. i know, but i dont think i know well enough. when im out alone in the working environment, i feel like a kindergarden student among the adults.

till the day im able to pay off my first car, get a house, a family, travel the world..

it's a loooooooooooooooooooooong way to go.

How much will i achieve by the age of 30?
It's just 9 years to go.

in less than 2 weeks time, another year gone.

Wait, what have i achieved this year?

ps: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday :)

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